Greasers Don't Cry, Right?
by LeviosaFlight
Summary: After a encounter with the Socs, Ponyboys life is turned upside down. Will anything be the same again? Will Pony recover? Warnings: Noncon; nothing graphic. Johnny and Dally are alive. Complete.
1. Pain

Fanfiction revised: November 24, 2005

A request + being depressed this fic!

WARNINGS: This has PONY TORTURE! Mentioning of slash rape! Rated R for a reason!

FLAMES **ARE **WELCOMED!

_Something bad happened to me today…_

_Something really bad._

_It never crossed through my mind that I could be a victim of this…_

_I heard of it happening to girls…_

…_but never guys._

_So why me…?_

My hands are shaking as I turn the knob to the front door of my house…my whole body is shaking.

I hear the noise from inside of the house; the radio turned up all the way and the TV is on, its volume also turned sky high.

I don't want to go inside now. I know the moment my brothers see me, they will ask questions…

…_and I'll have to tell them._

_No, I can't…_

_I can't tell them…_

_I won't tell them…_

I open the door, and as I predicted everyone came running to me, asking what happened. "I was jumped by some Socs." I say, well, it's the truth…I was.

They want to know more, but I push my way through them and into the bathroom, "I…just let me get cleaned up." I say feeling getting the sudden feeling that I'm dirty…a dirty pig.

Once I'm inside the bathroom I immediately shut and lock the door.

I turned on the shower, and began stripping slowly out of my clothing.

My entire body felt like it had been hit by an 18-wheeler going 156.5 MPH.

I groaned and hissed in pain as I lifted my shirt over my head. My arms stung with sharp pains and my chest felt so heavy…gosh it hurt to breathe.

I bit my lip hard and slid my shorts off, making small stiff movements as I stepped out of them.

I grimaced, hooking my thumbs into the rim of my boxers. I inhaled deeply and pushed them down. As my body bent over a little, I nearly screamed. But I let the tears fall from my eyes instead…

When I looked down at them through blurry vision, I saw the bloodstains that consumed the bottom of them. I grabbed them and stepped under the water and instantly began cleaning them…almost like a mad animal…

I rubbed at them…clawed at them…

…_almost like they had rubbed and clawed at me…_

Out of frustration I tore them in half and I let the fall into the tub…

I tired to be strong, I really did. I mean, after all, Greasers don't cry. Right?

But this one does…

Tears were welling up again, and this time I let them fall.

My body became racked with sobs…and I cried till the water that pounded on me, became cold.

When I stepped out of the bathroom, the guys were still there…the radio was off, but the TV was one.

Johnny was the first one who saw me, and came up to me first. "You okay, Pon?" He asked.

Johnny was the only one I could every consider my best friend…right then and there I wanted to tell him…but I couldn't.

_He'd be disgusted with me…they all would._

"Yea Johnny, I'm fine. Just tried…I'm going to bed. Night." I ducked inside the room I shared with Sodapop before any more questions could be asked.

Soda came in a few minutes later…and just stood there. Even thought my back was turned from the door, I knew it was him. I could feel him standing there, staring at me. I then heard his footsteps come towards the bed, he sat on the edge of the bed and placed a hand on my back.

I knew that Soda would never hurt me, but I jumped…I couldn't help it.

"What happened?" He asked.

"Nothing…"

"You can't lie, you know."

"I was jumped by some Socs…that's all."

"You sure?"

I was silent.

"Alright. You know you can talk to me when you're ready."

Then he was gone.

"I'm sorry Soda…" The tears fell once again from my eyes. "Soda…I was raped."

But no one was there to hear me.

_I wish someone was…._

**Oh no! What the hell did I do to Pony:: starts punching self. : Ow, Sorry. I'm depressed today, if you can't tell….**

Oh this is meant to be a one shot, so don't worry…unless someone likes it. Then I can add chapters!


	2. I was

**Part Two-Revised November 24, 2005.**

**Halfway down- slightly detailed scene of rape. Reader beware! **

**---**

_Pain…_

That was the first thing I felt, when I came to from a dreamless sleep.

The sharp pain on my backside.

My whole body is sore. The one 18-wheeler turned in two 18-wheelers, a wolf pack of cars and a farm truck with a pig.

My body screamed in agony as I stood up from the comfortable bed. I glance over to the clock.

It's 1:43 PM…Golly; I've never slept this late in my life.

Then the dirty feeling returns. I feel as if, dirt had been poured on me all throughout the night…

_and I can't shake it off…_

I rush to the bathroom and I quickly shut and lock the door, not really knowing if anyone was home.

Safely inside the small square room, I got over to the bathtub, ignoring the mirror I pass, I turn the bath knob all the way to the red H, and I cut on the shower…

After stripping down, I once again let the water from the showerhead pound into me until the scolding water turns cold…until I feel a little bit clean.

_Just a bit…_

When I step out of the shower, I'm glad to see that the mirror is fogged up. I brush my teeth almost violently…the taste of liquor and cigarettes wouldn't stop invading my taste buds.

"_Awww what's wrong? Am I being too rough on ya Grease?"_

I dropped my toothbrush into the sink and took a large swing of the Spearmint mouth wash, gargling loudly trying to push the voices from the previous night from my head.

"_Hmm, he has nice legs doesn't he Rick?"_

I burning from the mouth wash brought tears to my eyes…

…_I guess it was the mouthwash._

"_I'd imagine so. He's the top runner in school, right?"_

"_Heh, no wonder…"_

I gargled louder and louder, trying to drown out the slurred voices…

"Pony! You 'right in there?"

I stopped gargling and spat into the sink, my whole mouth seemed to let out a sigh of relief to have gotten rid of the burning.

"Y…yea, I'm okay. Johnny?"

"Yea it's me. I'm out here if ya need anything." Johnny, sweet Johnny.

"Thanks…"

I quickly got dressed into some fresh clean clothes, and left the bathroom and the mirror.

_Which was starting to defog…_

Johnny was sitting on the couch, flipping through a magazine, when I came in. He looked up at me, and I looked a him for a second before I tore my eyes away and sat on the recliner Darry always sat in.

"Your bothers and Steve are at work. As for knowing where Dally and Two-Bit are, I doubt anyone knows."

I tried to give him a smile, but I failed and settled on a nod.

"Pony?"

"Its nothing don't ask." I wish this arm chair would swallow my whole.

"Aw Pony, c'mon. We scared the hell out of everyone last night!" He put the magazine on the coffee table-giving me his full attention.

_Damn._

"Sorry." I brought my knees to my chest, all of I sudden I felt really guilty. Tears were filling my eyes back up, and I tried to hold them back…I wanted to stay strong. But I couldn't.

_I'm so weak._

Fuck, now I'm really freaking out Johnny.

He jumped up and was all over me in a second. "See, somethin's wrong! Tell me…"

_I've been raped._

"Pony?" Johnny's voice is full of concern and worry. Oh Johnny, don't worry about me…

_I've been raped._

"Ponyboy, please tell me what's wrong. Or I'll have to get the big guns out and tell Darry and Soda." Johnny tried to joke and smiled gently. He reached out to touch my face. I pulled back, and covered my face with my face.

"No…" I whimpered.

_I've been raped, Johnny._

"Pony, c'mon." Johnny's voice broke slightly. "It's okay…"

_I've been raped, Johnny. Please help me._

"I- I was…I've been…" Was all I could manage of the words that repeated in my head.

"What?"

_I've been raped, Johnny. Please help me. I'm so ashamed... So dirty._

I open my mouth to try again.

"I've...I was…I…"

_  
_"What, Pony?" I felt his hands on my knees that were brought up to my chest. "It's okay, just tell me."

"I've been..." I can't.

"What happened?"

_I've been raped, Johnny. Please help me. It hurt so bad, what they did to me. It still hurt…it hurts... I want you to help me! I'm so ashamed. All I want to do is…die. I'm so dirty right now…_

"What?"

No more tears were falling, but I was still sobbing…"Nothin'." I croaked out.

"Do I have to smack you?" Johnny yelled, grabbing my shirt with both hands. My eyes widened and I stared into his eyes…he scared me.

Why?

Because Johnny was NEVER aggressive and because…one of THOSE guys grabbed me…then…

"Please stop!" I pulled away from him, and made myself into a tight ball, rocking back and forth slightly.

"Pony, I'm sorry…it's just…"

"Johnny…I-the Socs, raped me…" I said, not a hint above a whisper.

"What…?"

I knew he had heard me, so I didn't repeat myself. I couldn't repeat myself. I just got prepared for him to jump up and run out calling me a "Dirty pervert" or something.

"Oh, my God." Johnny gasped.

I let out a small chuckle; I never even knew Johnny believed in 'God'. Yet, I waited…waited for him to run…to do something.

I felt him place his arms around me, and I pushed away. "No, don't. I don't want to make you dirty…"

"Do you know who did it?" Johnny growled, his voice wasn't normal…it was filled with anger.

"Some Socs…" I answered and continued to rock myself. "I'm sorry."

"Why are you apologizin'? You don't got no reason to."

"Dunno, just…I dunno."

"It's not your fault, if you thinkin' that it is." We were both silent for a while before he continued. "Why didn't you tell us last night?"

"It was getting cold…"

"What?"

"I didn't wanna get kicked out, it was getting cold…you guys would think I'm dirty or somethin'."

"We were-"

"Don't tell them. The guys. Don't tell them."

"I have to, at least your brothers."

"No! You can't!" I screamed at him, I didn't mean to, but I got scared.

"If you tell me what happened, I probably won't. But, I can't promise."

"I can't…"

"Either tell me, or you tell Soda and Darry."

I stayed silent…I didn't want to tell my brothers…not yet. It was too soon. Johnny's my best friend…and I told him a lot already…

"I was walking home from school…late, like a idiot. I always stay after school on Friday's to work in a few runs and stuff. I stayed later then normally…and it was getting dark…"

_Flash back _

When I walked out of the dressing area of the field house. It was already dark, around 7 o'clock, and school had let out at 4:30.

I cursed lightly, knowing Darry would've been home for over two hours already and would've been worried sick.

I had just walked out the gates that surround the outside track, when sets of headlights blinded me.

"Well, well, lookie! What we have here!" A Slurred voice called out.

When my eyes became adjusted to the light, I saw 4 Mustangs in front of me with Socs sitting on the hoods.

"Why…it's a little Grease…!" One said, with fake astonishment. A couple jumped off their hoods and came towards me. I turned and began to make an escape, only to be caught a few feet away from where I was.

I was slammed against the wire fence, my cheek getting scratched by a few loose wires.

"Why you runnin' from us Grease? Scared?" One asked, his face only inches from mine. I could smell the powerful aroma of alcohol on his breath.

_Shit._

"Get the hell off of me!" I pushed back trying to get them to let me go, but they only held on tighter. I grunted as a loose wire again stabbed at my cheek, as they pushed me harder against the fence,

"I don't think so, we're having way too much fun!" A voice somewhere behind my laughed.

My once wobbling legs were being kicked at and my back was punched; with each punch that landed in the middle of my back, breath escaped and I wasn't able to draw any in. Then suddenly I was let go and I toppled to the ground.

"He's not much fun!" One of them wined.

"Maybe he can be useful to something.." One of them said after a while.

There was silence.

"Man you're sick! If you're thinking what I think you're thinking."

What the hell were they talking about?

"Oh C'mon Randy! I heard their just as much good as girls."

"Naw dude…I'm out."

"Same here." A few voices said in unison.

"C'mon Bob, Alex and Freddy lets get outta here."

"Hey we're comin' too!" Another called. "You comin' Tim?"

No answer, guess this Tim guy was staying.

"Fine." The voice continued, "C'mon guys."

I heard doors shut and two cars start up and drive off. But just two cars…so that meant maybe 4 or more guys were still around me.

"Forget them." I was pulled off the ground by a few hands and was half dragged half walked towards an area between the gate and another building where I was once again dropped to the ground.

That's when hands began to violently rip my clothes off my body.

_What the hell! What are they doing! Oh no…they can't! _My brain kicked in suddenly when lips pressed -hard- against mine.

A tongue and the taste of tobacco and beer invaded my mouth and as a natural reaction I bit down on the tongue. I could recognize the metallic taste of blood as it filled my mouth…but it wasn't my own.

"You little bitch!" I was slapped and the hand grabbed at my neck, squeezing tightly cutting off my oxygen supply. I squirmed from under him, and with a free hand I grabbed at his, trying to pull them from around my neck.

_Fuck!_

"Hm? AM I being too rough on ya Grease?" One of them said, mockly. My hand was pulled away and held onto by someone unknown. My head back roughly and once again my mouth was invaded…but not by a tongue. "If you bite me, I'll kill you!" He said and I shivered as cold steal was placed against my neck.

"He has nice legs, doesn't he Rick?"

I heard another say while I was trying, with whatever strength I had, to push the guy in my mouth off of me. I could feel the knife nick at the skin on my neck as I squirmed.

"Stop moving or my friend here is gonna accidentally cut you real deep." A voice said, far too close to my ear.

"I'd imagine so. He's the top runner in school, right?" The conversation continued.

"Heh, no wonder…"

I felt myself being lifted from my waist, and my eyes widened as I felt my entrance being touched.

"You sonofaBITCH!" My mouth was empty, "You bit me you piece of shit trash!"

_I did?_

I couldn't think after that, I was punched again and then…

That's when it happened…they ripped through my body, and invaded my soul….

"They…raped me. They laughed as I cried and screamed. I didn't think…I never think!" I cried out, clinging to Johnny. That was all I could do. And all he could do was return the embrace.


	3. I can't

**Revised November 24, 2005**

**Here's chapter 3...I really think it sucks, but I just wanted to update. Well, this is really HALF of a chapter but I didn't want to like switch POVs right in the middle of my chapter like I did with Maybe I Am Sick. Oh I don't know when I'll update that fic…I'm kinda lost on what to do next…I have a lot of the next chapter done for it…but yea, I don't know how to end it! LOL, I'd like to get that fic done before my next lifetime….Well, if someone has any ideas on that fic and this one, just tell me!**

I held Ponyboy until his sobs turned into soft snores. I stroked his dark hair, softly rocking him and whispering words of comfort.

No matter how gentle my actions were. I wanted to kill…kill those bastards who hurt my best friend. Yes, Pony is my best friend. Even though we really didn't have anything common. I could talk to him easier then the other guys…he understood more.

I looked down at him, that's when I noticed something at the base of his neck, I gently pushed down the collar of his shirt to revel a big angry dark gash. I gasped,

_He…He said…it I bit him, he'd kill me! And…I don't remember biting him, but I guess I did!_

_Johnny, I'm suppose to be-be dead! Johnny! _

_I'm suppose to be dead…_

My eyes I looked up at the wall and my eyes remained on a single spot on the opposite wall…a dark brown color that stained the off shell white walls of the house. In the spot I pictured myself ripping the necks off those damn Socs…no, that would be too quick! Digging out their hearts with a _spoon_!

Yes, a _spoon_! Why, cause a spoon is dull and it'll hurt more…a lot more.

The sharp sound of the phone ringing broke through my violent thoughts…and telling the truth, I was a little disappointed.

I looked down at Pony and started unraveling his hand from my shirt. The phone was on its 7th ring by the time I did and I jumped to get it.

"Curtis Place. This is Johnny." I said like I always do when I'm over here.

"_What the heck took you so long to answer? Soda's about to run over there. Anythin' wrong?"_

I didn't answer for a moment, "Yes…something was. But-"

"_What's wrong? You okay? The Kid okay?"_

I didn't know how to answer that, Pony trusted me with his secret…but…I turned around to look at the sleeping figure on the couch, he was tightly wrapped in a ball, and a few tears had managed to sleep past his closed eyelids and were now trailing down his cheek.

I couldn't do this…I couldn't keep this to myself, but I also couldn't betray his trust…

"_Johnny…Who-hoo! You still there…?"_

"Sorry" I said, not elaborating.

"_Did Pony ever tell you anymore about what happened to him last night."_

My heart sunk to my stomach then and my stomach fell to my feet… "He…he was just hurt by some Socs…it…it shocked him something awful…" I murmured into the receiver. Watching as more tears feel down Ponys face…

"_Okay…well, I called because _-" He went on, but I continued to stare at Ponyboy. His brows suddenly scrunched together and he looked in pain.

"No…please…"

"_Even while Sandy was here Soda was somewhere else, he was worried and asked me to-"_

"Please…stop…" Pony continued and more tells fell.

_Why am I still alive, Johnny…?_

Did Pony regret not being killed by that bastard? I drew in a long deep breath then "Steve, tell Soda to get over here whenever they can…"

"What?"

"Just…just do it."

I hung up then, letting out a long and shaky breath…sometimes I could be such a wimp…and other times I can be brave…but only when a good friend was endanger and Pony was that friend.

I let go of the phone, and went over to the couch. I shook him lightly, and his green-grey eyes popped open.

"What…?" He asked sleepily.

"I'm sorry Pony…"

"What…for?" He stared into my eyes for a moment, and I watched as his widened in fear. "No… you didn't…" He gasped out.

"No, but you're goin' to. Your brothers will be over here soon, and you gotta tell them."

"No Johnny, I can't and I won't." He stood then and I grabbed him.

"Yes you will! You gotta…or I will myself. They'll be over here soon! What are you scared of?" I was screaming now, I don't know why but I was…

"Because…I don't ant them to think I'm some…some dirty…" I watched him as he sunk down unto the floor, his knees drawn to his chest.

"They won't think that, cause you're not! You're they're baby brother and they love you…they want to help you and so do I."

"Then let me be!" He screamed up at me, his eyes were filled with anger and sadness. But I didn't budge…if he was going to be stubborn then so will I.

"No." I said simply.

He was silent, fresh tears were now running down his face.

"If something like this happened to me, or one of the other guys," I started, "you'd do the same thing. I can't keep this to myself…we all love you, not matter what happens…it'll be the same."

He remained silent for a moment. "Only if you're here with me…" He whispered.

"Of course…"

As soon as those two words left my mouth we heard the old Ford pull up in front of the house, and the doors open and close.

Darry came through the door first, closely followed by Soda…and through the window I could see Two-Bit and Steve sitting on the porch…I guess they knew that this was something that needed to be talked about with family. I looked back to see Pony had stood up.

"What's going on?" Soda asked softly, he kept glancing form me to Pony.

"Pony…?" Darry stepped forward but Pony stepped back and knocked into me.

"I…" Pony started. He hands were to his sides clenched in a fist. "Yesterday…night…some Socs…and they…I-I…I can't!" He screamed then, catching everyone off guard. He pulled away from me, knocked past Darry and Soda and ran out the door.

I stood there dumfounded as Soda and Darry stared at me.

"Pony…" I feel down on the couch exhausted. We all knew that when Pony ran…he ran and fast. No one could catch him, so all we could do was wait.

YEP, THIS CHAPTER SUCKED. : bangs head against the wall and the stuffed Monkey goes crazy bouncing against the walls. : EEK EEK EEK!

Oh, now I my head hurts…


	4. I won't

Revised Nov 24, 2005

By the time I even thought about to stop running, The sun was slowly going down.

How long have I been running? I asked myself as I collapsed on the soft green grass. I could barely breath and my heart seemed to be cursing at me as it raced inside my body. Every joint on my body was sore and my fingertips and toes were tingling.

My toes…I wiggled them. I've been running without shoes and socks.

Once I caught my breath and slowed my heart down I slowly sat up and looked at my bare toes. They were bleeding some. Small jagged rocks had buried themselves inside the pads of my feet. I plucked some out while my mind raced trying to answer my previous question

How long have I been running?

I looked at the sky, it had became a dark blue mixed with purple and rays of orange and yellow…gold. Gold had became my favorite color, ever since I had read a poem by Robert Frost…that color had stuck with me.

_Nature's first green is gold,  
Her hardest hue to hold.  
Her early leafs a flower;  
But only so an hour.  
Then leaf subsides to leaf.   
So Eden sank to grief,  
So dawn goes down to day.  
Nothing gold can stay._

I recited out loud to myself as the tears welled up in my eyes and spilled down my cheeks. It didn't have the same feeling anymore…it felt like I wasn't worthy enough to say it anymore…I was to dirty to say it. As if I'd taint those beautiful words. My gold had turned into rust..

I slowly stood up and walked back to where I had came…home. I didn't know where I was until I passed the Movie House. Mustangs and Corvairs where everywhere. My feet were killing me but I made them move.

made them move until I was running again.

I made them move until I was home, until I felt a little safe.

_Just a little…_

Safe but still scared. Scared of facing my brothers, scared to face my friends, scared to face…Johnny. He was just trying to help me, but I ran out on him…

I slowly entered the house and I stared at the faces that were staring back at me.

"Pony, I had to tell 'em…" Johnny said and slowly stood up staring at me with his dark puppy dog eyes.

I gave him a small sad smile "Johnny its alright." I wiped the tears from my eyes. "I understand."

Soda stood up, and gentaly wrapped his arms around me, "Pon? Are you okay?"

I was gonna start ballin' then, so I just nodded. "I'm sorry…I'm sorry,. I couldn't fight 'em. It was so many of 'em…"

"Shhh…it's okay."

I caught sight of Darry then, he was sitting on his armchair with his head hung.

"Darry…I'm sorry. If you're ashamed of me-"

"Pony! I'm never ashamed of you…never had been never will be!" I stood up and came over to Soda and I.

"You know what? We're going into the kitchen." Steve said pulling on Two-Bits jacket,

"We are? Why?"

Johnny rolled his eyes, "C'mon Two-Bit gotta give them some privacy."

That made me smile, Two-Bit could be so ignorant and naive at times…well, all the time.

After they left, I looked over at my brothers.

"Why…why didn't you tell us that night." Darry asked my looking into my eyes

"I was scared…"

"Scared of what?" Darry placed the back of his hand on my cheek and I slowly pulled away from both of them…I knew they weren't the purest of people but…they weren't dirty like me.

"I didn't want you guys to hate me…"

"Never…" Soda mouth lightly, in shocked that I would ever think that. "We love you…we're here for you no matter what."

I broke down then, no matter what they said I couldn't help feeling ashamed, dirty and…just like slime.

"It'll be okay, baby" Soda said to me, but I knew he was wrong…

…nothing will be okay…never again.


	5. The card

School was always my favorite place to be. I mean why wouldn't it be? There are friends, track, learning…I've always loved to learn. I never thought the feeling towards school would change so quickly.

True, most kids always pout and say "I hate school!" blah blah blah…! But, I feared school. Love converted to fear in less then a week.

My knees buckled as I stood at my locker, juggling my books in one hand as I tried to unlock my combination. When I finally did, I regretted it all…

Inside my locker was a card, the card seemed innocent at first. It had a large yellow smiley face that was winking., but the inside--- on the inside there was a simple note.

"Friday night was great! Hope to do it again soon." –Guess who.

Just as luck would happen someone came behind me and placed a hand on my shoulder. I quickly spun around quickly my back against my open locker and my eyes wide. "Go away" I said to the tall figure in front of me.

"Listen kid, my friends they were drunk don't-"

"Go away, please go away." I was so scared pitifully scared. My mind screamed at me to run but my body wouldn't obey. He was about to say something but my body came back to life and I spun around and ran to the nearest exit.

I sat curled up in Two-Bits car for almost 4 hours, he never locked his car door, before the lunch bell rung. I heard Steve and Two-Bit long before I saw them. Both of their annoying chuckles and loud voices.

"Hey where you wanna go for lunch? Station again?" Two-Bit was saying as he jerked open his door, the only way it would open.

"Yeah I guess so." I watched as Steve spit out his gum before getting in the car. "Hey, where's the kid at? He's always here before we are."

Taking that as my que, I poked my head up. "I'm here." I said quietly from the back seat.

"Oh my fucking shit!" Two-Bit turned so sharply his back hit the steering wheel, causing him to honk his horn. "Fuck kid, don't ever- God!"

"Sorry." I mumbled, looking down at my lap.

"Its okay, what are you doing in here anyway. Something wrong?" Steve asked. Inside my mind, hell froze over, Steve Randal was concerned.

"A Soc came up to me and I got scared." Tears started invading my eyes, I was such a damned baby! "I'm okay now, don't worry about it."

"Did you go to class?" I guess Steve didn't get the hint that I wanted to drop the subject.

"No I couldn't, some of them are in my class and- and…."

"And what?"

"They put a card in my locker." I slowly handed the card to Two-Bit who looked at it and gave it to Steve who in return balled it up.

"Don't listen to them, we ain't gonna let them lay one finger on you alright? You gonna be okay."

I nodded, everyone was wrong through. Soda said everything would be okay but its not and Two-Bit said I'm going to be ok, but I won't.

Help me, someone help me.


	6. Bloody Walls

**Wow it's been over a year since I updated any of my stories. And for my sanity and everyone else I decided to UPDATE! I should give reason to why I didn't update. You see, my daddy passed away 09-11-2003. I couldn't bring myself to write anymore. Then recently I had a dream, my dad told me to do what I loved most. To write, go to school and help people. So, I'm planning to go to school for Psychology and continue writing hoping to be published one day…So, if I don't update much its because of school but Keep in mind I WILL update…just busy with school and work now.**

**On with the story!**

During lunch Two-Bit, Steve and I went to DX Station where Soda had just finished on a customers car. While he handed the keys to the middle aged man, who in return handed him a few bills, Soda looked over and spotted us.

I read his lips as he told the customer "Thanks." And came over.

As he came closer, I let my head fall down and stared at my shoes. I couldn't bring myself to look into his eyes anymore. I couldn't look anyone directly in the eyes anymore.

"Everything okay?" He asked, Two-Bit and Steve just replied with a few grunts and mumbled words.

I hated all this, it wasn't ever "Hi" or "What's happening?" it was now always "What's wrong?" or "everything okay?"

I just stared at my worn sneakers as Steve explained to Soda what happened. When they were done we all went into the garage and had a few sandwiches, that were in the old refrigerator of the shop and some Pepsi.

"How you doin' Pon?" Soda asked after a long silence.

I just shrugged for a reply.

"Pony, c'mon you gotta talk…don't bottle all up like this." Soda sounded like he was pleading, but I couldn't look up, I couldn't look at his face…to see what he was really feeling.

Silence once again between us, the only noise in the garage was the sound of tools clicking together as the other workers worked on the cars in the station.

"Man, 'bout time to go back for me." Two-bit said, as he stood up and stretched. "Comin' Ponyboy?" My heart picked up its pace, I didn't want to go back to school. I didn't want to face does Socs…I couldn't. Not now…

"You mind if I stay here Soda…just for today?" I finally said, and in my head prayed he'd say yes.

"I guess, honey. Are you sure?"

"Yea…my only classes left are health and sculpture. I can miss those, no problem. Please?"

"Yeah, I'll call your school and tell them you're not feeling well. Okay?

"Okay…"

"Man! Can you do the same for me Soda! I hate that place! If I miss anymore classes they said they'll keep me back." I heard Two-Bit turn on his heel and began walking back to his car. "See ya'll in a bit!" He yelled to us.

"Bye Two-Bit" Steve cried in return and threw the bottles in the trash. Steve didn't go back to school after lunch. A work program type thing.

I picked up my bag, got up and went into the main part of the station where they kept the register and sat on a stool in the corner and took my book I have to read for English "Mary, Bloody Mary." By Carolyn Meyer.

"_The days slipped by as I slowly recovered my strength. Lady Susan came to visit, bringing nosegays of spring blooms. I began to take short walks…"_ I was reading out loud, trying to stay focus on the book in my hands, but my mind kept going back to that night. The pain had left my body…

..but not my mind.

"_PLEASE STOP! IT HURTS…!"_

I continued to read, but my vision was becoming blurred. I was going to start crying…again _"Instead of the usual activity around the weathering yard, I found only gloom. Peters fat—fathher…" _My voice began to break and the book fell from my hands.

"_LET ME GO…HELP! IT HURTS STOP…STOOOOOP!"_

Why? Wouldn't it get out of my head…it had to get out. I began banging my head on the wall behind me. Trying to get the whole thing out of my head. I wanted the voices to leave.

"_Stop? Oh no honey. We're just getting started."_

I shut my eyes tightly, seeing swirls of colors and seeing their faces…laughing at me. I opened my eyes quickly the colors were there and everything was getting blurry.

"_Oh just relax stop fighting…"_

I began banging my head harder. I had to get everything out!

"Get out! Leave me alone, just stop!" I yelled, trying to mute out the noise in my head. Trying to get it all to leave.

"_STOOOP! PLEASE STOP!"_

"STOP! GET OUT!"

I hit my head again on the wall harder this time. Causing me to fall off the stool. As I feel forward my head hit the blue top counter. Surprisingly I wasn't knocked out…I wish I had been.

"Pony!" Sounded like Soda. I brought my hand to the back of my head, then in front of my face. My hand was dark…red I guess. With blood. I couldn't tell everything was blurry. I felt so…numb.

"Pony! Hun? You okay? Oh god! PLEASE…someone call for help!"

"So…Soda…?" I felt him pick me yp and place my head on his lap. "Ima…Okay just needed…vo-voices to go…away. I'm o..okay now.'

"Shhh, honey helps on the way…"

The blurrs were gone and everything was getting dark. I wasn't numb anymore, just…there. Here. Somewhere.

_In hell._

"No…one can help…me…So…da."

Total darkness consumed me.

**There ya go! I know that this is kinda…meh chapter, but trust me the next one will have more action…maybe. I really didn't know where I want this story to go! If anyone has any ideas please let me know PLEASE! All suggestions and comments welcomed!**


	7. Soc's have to Pay

**SHORT!  
DARRY'S POV**

_The Socs had to pay..._ This was the only thing going through my mind as I watched my little brother. Pony was in the hospital; he's been here for a few hours now. I had got the call from Soda and I rushed over here as fast as our old Ford could take me. But, Pony didn't hurt his head too bad. Just busted his scalp, and had stitches running everyway on the back of his head and a few were on his forehead.

I looked at the prescription in my hand; the doctors knew Pony was going to have some bad headaches so they prescribed him some good pain reliever medicine.

I looked back up at my little brother, even through he wasn't hurt bad, he just looked so fragile lying there in the oversized hospital bed. His head was lightly wrapped in gauze and his eyes had dark circles under them, mostly caused by lack of sleep. His greenish eyes were half open, and he looked as if he was forcing himself to stay awake.

I slowly reached forward to stroked his cheek, I wasn't surprised when he jumped a little, but he settled down under my touch and quickly went to sleep.

The Socs have to pay… 

"I should've been watchin' him." I heard Soda say. Steve comforted him, which I was grateful for. My mind was on other things

"Those Soc's have to pay…" I growled out loud. I looked across the room and my eyes met Dallas's. _When did he get here? _I thought, not knowing he was there.

He nodded, "Those god-damned Silver-spooned suckers." He sat bitterly, "What they did was low, even for them."

Did Dally know what…happened to Pony? How did he know? 

"Johnny-cakes told me." Dally answered my unasked question. "That's why I haven't been over to ya'lls place. Figured ya'll need some time, ya dig?"

"I dig." I answered.

Johnny moved at his place by the window. "How do we make the Socials pay? We don't even know who did this to Pone."

"Easy." All eyes went to the new presence in the room, Two-Bit, who was standing in the doorway; his face serious but a smirk on his lips. "We go after them all."

**Here we go SEE I UPDATED! I'm trying to get them to be more "Greaser" about the whole situation and I was reading through the story and I saw…I FORGOT ABOUT DALLAS! So…here he is! Sorry about that, if any off ya'll noticed (I believe a few did, in earlier reviews…)**

**I have more written out but I don't want to post it yet! REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW! (if you don't, I'll leave again: fakes cry…runs out and falls : **

**Monkey:laughs :**


	8. Speaking with Socs

Been a few months, ne minna-chan (everyone)? Well, here you go Part 8 of GDC,R? Sorry about the long wait for the update just…yeah, no excuse except for writers block….

**No action yet, still having trouble writing the rumble part so heres the beginning!**

My hands were clenched at my side tightly as we walked up to the Movie House, where a large number of Mustangs were which meant, we'd fine a large number of Socs.

Beside me was Steve, Dally and Two-Bit. Soda was still at the hospital with Ponyboy and Johnny was with him too.

In only 2 hours everything had been set, word had spread through the Greaser community quickly about the rumble. No questions were asked. Rumble was a rumble. Didn't matter why.

But it mattered to us, and that's all that mattered.

We were now in front of the Movie House, a movie had just let out and the area was getting a little crowded. That didn't change anything, didn't change what we were after…or who.

"Darry." Dallas voice caught my attention and I looked in the direction he was. Standing not to far from us was a group of Soc's, their eyes met ours and I knew they were whom we wanted to "speak" with. As we walked over to them, I could see a few move nervously and I couldn't help but to smirk.

"Should we run for it?" One smaller one with blonde hair asked and taller dark haired one.

"No." Was his simple answer.

"Yo, ape face." Two-Bit greeted them once we were near them.

"What you guys want?"

"I'm pretty sure you know why we're here." Dallas glared at them.

"Oh do we?" This guy, was about my height had dark brown hair and hazel eyes, his eyes met mine as he slightly smirked.

It took all I had, not to grab him and choke him. I took a deep breath, "Next Saturday, Greasers and Socials. The empty lot not far from the rail roads." I said calmly.

"Rumble, hm? Rules?"

"No heaters. Knives, chains and fists only."

"Well, I'm sure-"

"Rick!" The smaller kid beside him interrupted. He turned to me, "Why?"

They must be brothers or something, his hazel eyes burned into mine. I could tell by looking in his eyes, this kid really didn't know what this was all about, he reminded me of Pony…so innocent full of worry and concern. It wasn't right; Greasers would never do anything like what the Socs did to Pony…

"I'm sure your brother knows why, Kid. Don't you…_Rick_?" He stayed silent.

I spun on my heals and stuffed my hands in my pockets, and began to walk away.

"Don't forget to tell your friends! Cause ours know and are ready to fight!" Steve called.

"See ya Saturday, APE-FACE!" I heard Two-Bit chime in.

"You all right, Darryl?" Dallas asked, he was walking beside me.

"It ain't right. You saw that kid, he didn't know what was going on. He reminded me of Pony…just realized none of us would ever do that to a Soc…to anyone!" I took my hands from my pocket and hit the size of my truck. "Just pisses me off…"

I pressed my forehead against the cool metal, " This won't solve a thing…"

I pushed away from the truck and opened the door.

The drive back to the hospital was a silent one. I glanced at the watch on my wrist, it was only 6 o'clock. Visiting hours would be over at the hospital in 2 hours.

I could hear Steve and Two-Bit in the back of the truck, arguing about something. Dallas was sitting in the cab with me, staring out the window smoking a cancer stick, silently.

When we made it back to Pony's hospital room. Soda greeted us, "He woke up asking for you."

"He did?"

I stared at my brother's profile, as he sat in the chair next to me, his eyes never leaving Pony's form on the bed. "He asked me if you were upset at him."

I sighed, Pony was always worried about that…

"The Shepard's came by too, news spread about Pony being in the hospital. Also about the-" Johnny glanced at Pony quickly to make sure he was still asleep. "rumble, wantin' to make sure about the information."

"Do they know…" I started.

"Naw, if they did they didn't ask about it."

I looked away from Johnny to Pony. He looked terrible…even in his sleep he looked so scared. I clenched my hands into a fist in my lap as the anger consumed me again.

But it's gonna be worth it…! 

--

**Well, so…Please review! Onegai! (please!) Also, suggestions would be great!**


	9. JellO and Pain

**AGAIN- Sorry for the long wait for this update. No excuse, I had this chapter done for a while, though I've just been really busy with work and school! So sorry! It was DistantThoughts who reminded me to update…hehe**

**Anyway, there is no rumble yet, don't think I'm going to write one I might take iluvthecheat's advice and do something else.**

**Man, thanks to everyone who reviewed!**

**Not a lot in this chapter, a lot of mindless rumbling! Next chapter, hopefully, we'll have some action!**

**Also, I haven't had the chance to go over this chapter too well, so sorry about the errors, when I have time I'm going to take it down and revise it!**

**-----------**

They are up to something. I know they are. They speak in hushed tones when they think I'm asleep. They force smiles when I'm awake, making idle conversation while at the same time looking over my head at someone behind me. Communicating without words.

I rub my hands over my arms, I feel weird. My skin feels like it's moving. My guts feel like they are turning into liquid. I'm turning into liquid.

Jell-O, heated jell-o. Liquid. Solid to liquid. Cherry…no grape. Cherry. My brain is cherry Jell-O.

"You okay?" My head snaps up and my eyes meet my best friends worried ones. "You okay, Pony?" Johnny asks again.

"Y-yeah. Why you ask?" I rub my hands over my arms again. It's strange, jell-o. Goes from powder to liquid to solid and – if warmed up- back to a liquid. What is jell-o made of anyway?

"You…kinda looked lost." He moved closer to the side of my bed. "You cold."

I shook my head. "Not cold."

Silence. I hate the silence. I can hear _them_ when it's silent.

Thursday. Was today Thursday…No, it's Friday.

I was admitted into the hospital Friday, I was released Tuesday after a couple days of "observation"…Everything else is a blur. I have a test due Thursday…yesterday. Today. Tomorrow?

"What's today, Johnny?"

"Its…" He glanced at the calendar on the wall. Why didn't I think to do that? I can't think, thinking too much. "it is Thursday. Almost 8 o'clock."

Morning? I look outside through the window. No, night.

"Soda?"

"He fell asleep on the couch last I checked." Johnny set on my bed while picking up a orange transparent bottle. I took the bottle from him, and read the label: _Zimeldine._

The tingling feeling was back in my arms causing me to drop the bottle on my lap. I starred at it while running my hands over my arms again.

My test…I hope that they let me make it up. Shit, I've screwed things up. I've missed school, homework, tests…damn, track. I run track, though I can't out run a bunch of drunk boys.

My skin is itching…it crawling causing me to itch.

This a side effect…affect?

"…okay?" Johnny is talking to me again.

"M'fine."

He plucks the bottle up from the place on my lap and opens the top, and took one pill from the bottle. I looked up, when I heard noises coming from the hallway. It was those same hushed whispers.

Johnny takes my hand and places the pill in the palm of my hand, "Here ya go." He holds a glass of water to me. I place the pill on my tongue and take the glass, taking sips of the lukewarm water.

Melted ice.

He stands then, leaving me alone in my room.

I know they are up to something.

I'm going to find out. I toss back the covers and move my legs over the edge of the bed, touching the cool floor with my toes. I wiggle them, they tingle too.

I stand, nearly falling over as my vision blurs and the room spins. "Whoa." I sit back down onto the bed, waiting for my vision to clear…Okay, lets try again.

I stand, this time I'm stable. Well, I'm swaying so I'm not too stable. I use the wall as support as I was out the room and down the hall.

I can hear them in the living room, voices low. I stayed hidden in the darkened hallway and just listened.

"…all set." Someone says, maybe Dallas?

"…going to come Soda?" Now, I know that was Steve.

"I don't think so, I'm going to stay here…"

What were they talking about? What was "all set"? Where are they going?

I wanted to stand there and listen, find out the answers to my questions, but my body didn't feel like it, a pain – almost like a needle was moving from the back of my head to the front. Slowly…my vision blurred and I guess I made a noise, cause the next thing I knew they were all around me, pulling me up from the ground.

When did I fall?

"Pony!"

**Sodapops POV**

"Everythin' set from the rumble." Dally was saying. I could tell he was ready to fight. The way he clenched and unclenched his fist, he was ready to punch something.

"You make up your mind if you're goin' to come Soda?" I look over at Steve; he's sitting beside me on the arm of the couch, cigarette dangling from his mouth.

"I don't this so, I'm goin' to stay here with Pony."

"I think he's catching on." Johnny mumbled, "or somethin'."

Darry was about to say something when we heard a noise from the hallway…a groan.

Ponyboy.

We quickly stand rushing towards the hallway. We find him collapsed in the hall holding his head. His face is pained and his eyes squeezed shut. Darry and Dally pull him up from the floor, rushing him to his room. "Pony!"

They placed him on the bed. "M'okay…okay…I'm okay." He catches my eye. "I'm okay, don't look like that."

Like what? Worried? "Of course I'm going to look like this! You just passed out!" I took a deep breath and exhaled "What were you doin' outta bed?"

"…Hungry?"

"Liar." Johnny said.

Pony sighed, and we were silent for a bit. Johnny, Dallas, Steve and Two-Bit left the room while Darry gave Pony some medicine for his headache.

"Feelin' better?" I asked. He nodded, and rubbed his hands over his arms. "Cold?"

He shook his head. "Why ya'll keep tip-toeing around and whisperin' and stuff?"

I kept running his hands over his arms and starred at his lap.

"Pony…we just, didn't want to disturbed you." I quickly looked over at Darry, he continued to look at Pony.

Pony let out a big yawn, and I moved forwarded to push him on to the bed, he jumped a little his closing eyes getting large. "It's me…its Soda. Go to sleep, okay baby? We'll talk tomorrow."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

"Kay."

After he was sound asleep, Darry and I left the room and wandered into the living room where the others were- and I hit Darry.

"Shit! What was that for?"

"We're lying to him now?"

"I didn't lie! We don't want to disturb him, so we whisper! I didn't lie, Soda." He was right, technically he didn't lie. But why did I feel so bad?

I know- we're going behind his back, planning a big rumble. A rumble for him. Something he wouldn't approve of.

But, why don't I at least try to stop everything? Because, _they_ didn't stop and I want them to pay.

-------------

**Please Review! Suggestions are welcomed!**


	10. I'm okay? Maybe

_Sorry about the long wait. But, hopefully all wait for this fan fiction is over. This could be out last chapter. Or maybe not? Even if this is the end I will be doing a sequel. Just when I have no idea…why can't I just end things? I have no idea._

wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real  
I wanna let go of the pain I've held so long  
(Erase all the pain till it's gone)  
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm close to something real  
I wanna find something I've wanted all along  
Somewhere I belong

**--------**

Friday Night.

Its rumble time and I'm ready. I can't help but to feel antsy as I move from my right foot to my left and back again. I'm ready to fight. This brings back so many memories of pervious rumbles. But this one actually has meaning behind it.

I looked at those around me, the Shepard gang was all day, which was a surprise. No one was locked up.

Todd Wilson's gang was there. Now they were the type that of gang that even fellow Greaser had to watch out for. They would pull out a heater or a knife out in a blink of a eye.

Other gangs were there also, Greasers and Hoods of all types. Not all of them knew why they were here, but for them it didn't matter. A rumble was a rumble. But, not matter what and no matter who knew, this wasn't your normal rumble.

This was for our little Curtis. The boy who is our future, who could change all of this Greasers vs Socs. Ah, what a boring life that would be, but it would be a good life.

Those freaking Socs hurt one of our innocent.

I turned facing the street again. "C'mon you fucking pigs."

**----------------------**

"Fuck fuck fuck!" Steve cursed as alcohol was applied to his busted knuckles. "That bastard had a hard head."

"Heh, but I saw him after you punched him. His jaw has to be broken." Dally remarked, hissing as he sat up reaching for a cigarette.

"You okay?" Johnny asked him, grabbing the cigarettes for him.

"Thanks." He said, taking a stick from the box and lighting it. "One of those bastards, had a board and hit me on the back."

"Shit man. Did you see Wilsons gang? I'm surpised none of them pulled out a heater." Steve said as Soda wrapped his knuckles.

"Hell, but they had everything else." Two-Bit said, poking a bruise around his right eye.

"Did they stab anyone?" Johnny asked his dark eyes wide.

"Hope not, but I don't think so. Those are some crazy hoods." Two-Bit flicked out his cigeratte and moved over to the couch. "How is the kid?"

"Knocked out." Soda answered, "he had a bad dream took both Johnny and I to hold him down."

"Damn. He okay?"

"Yeah, I guess. It didn't wake him any."

Darry entered the room then, the only injury on him was a cut on his lip.

"Superman was crazy out there. He seriously picked up 3 guys and through the across the lot." Two-Bit joked, "And then one came at him with a board, and he broke up with his fist. That's how I got this shiner by watching him and not watching for myself." Two-Bit grabbed another cigarette.

"Why you silent over there Darry?" Soda asked standing up from his position in front of Steve.

"Just thinkin'"

"Watch it, that could be dangerous." Two-Bit warned jokingly.

"Oh yeah? For you maybe."

"Ha…ha."

"Anyway, what are you thinking about?"

"Tonight. We got our message across to them, and we feel better. But what about Pony. He is still in his own hell; none of this is going to help him."

There were mumbled agreements, no one could argue with that. It was true.

**-----**

**Ponyboys POV**

I don't like this medication or any of it. One minute I'm in a sleep that I can't get out of the next I'm wide awake. When I wake up if feels like, I was drowning, my lungs are burning and I'm gasping for air.

I turn over in bed, listening to the voices coming from down the hall in the living room. I couldn't hear them, but I just found comfort in their voices. Knowing they were there, protecting me not going anywhere.

I slowly sit up, trying not the get dizzy, and through my legs over the side of the bed. I stand up and stable my self using the wall for support, I make my way to the door.

Making my way down the hall, the voices become a bit clearer.

"Fuck Soda, why you tryin' to play nurse today? It was fine until you touched it!" The voice I recognized as Two-Bits shouted.

"Oh waaa!" Soda replied and the others in the rooms laughed.

"Damn, I didn't know I got cut."

"See, it could've got infected."

Cut? Two-Bit got cut? How? Peaking around the corner, I could see them sitting in the living room, Steve's hands were bandaged and his cheek was as well. Soda was nursing Two-Bit, by the smell; I could tell he was applying alcohol.

Dally was sitting next to them, with Johnny sitting on the floor near his legs. From what I could see, they looked like they were in a fight or got hit by a car….maybe both.

"Pony?" Looking down and over my eyes met Darrys, who was sitting in the arm chair next to the door. "What are you doing up?"

"Hm, trying to sneak around?" I gave him a dopey smile, the medication was starting to kick in again. "What ya'll doin? You guys look like…crap." I jumped slightly when I felt a touch on my arm.

"It's just me." Darry said.

"How you do that? One moment you're down next…POOF, you're here. Magic." I let go of the wall and I was happy he was there, because I could feel myself starting to fall.

"Okay, little buddy we are going to bed."

"No. No more bed. No more medication."

"We can't take you off until the doctor says it's okay."

"Hm, but its okay. I'm okay. As long as you guys are here, I'm okay."

"Pony…"

"I was really messed up…I still am. I'm still scared. I still feel…dirty, I still hear them…I-"

Sniffing I look up at my brother and notice the cut on his lip. Steve's bandages, Two-Bit and Dally's bruises, the sneaking around, the whispering. It all clicked.

"You guys fought for me?"

There were gasps and then they were silent for a second. "I'm not mad."

"How did you know?"

"I'm not stupid; this medicine just slows me down." I lean against Darry yawning. I felt him pick me up into his arms. "But, I'm not mad, not right now. Maybe in the morning."

"Oh?"

"As long as ya'll are here. I'm okay."

I shut my eyes, and I let him carry me into my room and lay me on my bed.

"And we ain't going anywhere, baby."

Though, the medication helped out a lot, for the first time. I went to sleep without images in my head. For the first time in a long time, I felt relaxed.

I want to wake up tomorrow with a smile and began to heal. I want to be able to lift my head up and look people in the eye.

I will never know myself until I do this on my own  
And I will never feel anything else, until my wounds are healed  
I will never be anything till I break away from me  
I will break away, I'll find myself today

_Repeat Chorus_

I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm somewhere I belong  
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm somewhere I belong  
Somewhere I belong

------

_This would be a good place to end it, but not really. I can do more and I might. So…for now it is TBC….? _

_Notice the question mark._

_This chapter was rushed, so I'm sure once I am fully awake I will be taking it down to revise it._

_Give me some input guys? _


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